No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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