this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
