just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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