im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
