I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
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i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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