Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
