some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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