also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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