the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
