the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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