I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
