Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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