I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
