Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
