I accidentally burped into my bong.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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