Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Church boner. Awkwardddd
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
