There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
they need to just BURY HIM!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
