hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
