Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
nutella sex= disaster
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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