Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
