i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
