Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize