So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
