I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
