Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize