He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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