we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i out mim tonsoeep
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