hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
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I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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