if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize