I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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