i don't like sucking hair
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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