epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
