While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
