i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
