she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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