True but thats because hes a fetus.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
