he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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