how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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