the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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