he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I cut my penus on the lid.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
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