I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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