it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
