I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
