Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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