Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Ketchup is God's man juice
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
