Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
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Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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