yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
