I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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