He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
