Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
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