I wish I only lived at night.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
