Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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