I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
