I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
