Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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