got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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