we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
