don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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