I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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