Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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