i think i have herpe
just one?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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