fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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