If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
sex in a hospital.. check
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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