Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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