My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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