Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
