I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize